Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Kitten Sparkle
Wow...............a 10 week old kitten found me, picked me out..................and MADE me take him home. It has been a while since I have seen such GODNESS shining unabashedly through a living being.
When I look at him, I see GOD. When I listen to him purrrrrrrrrr, or feel his little tongue on my skin, when he head-butts me, when he snuggles up with me on my pillow.........I feel that God-ness is filling me up. He is magical, pure, innocent, joyful, trusting, courageous even when he is frightened.............he is a living example of how all humans need to live. He is how I wish to be.
Joy, all in one simple leaping, pouncing, prancing, pooping, ball chasing precious little bundle.
I believe this simple JOY filled Spirit is apparent in all of us at some point in our lives..............where does it go, how is it shattered and shuttered. Does it have to be? Is our Spirit so pure and our heart so open when we come into this dimension that the pain living all around us causes us to close in stages............or slam shut all at once.
Perhaps. What is the key to "Opening," once again...........and living that way?
I believe we all call it Enlightenment. Few of us have achieved it, yet perhaps more than we know actually HAVE and LIVE it. They are the humble janitors, the Handicapped, the homeless, the Downs Syndrome kids, the dying and those being birthed; the simple people who walk among us. Perhaps they are alive and well in the indigenous peoples of the Amazon, or Australia, Thailand or America...................or perhaps these spirits live in the bodies of Whales roaming our precious Seas.
"The Journey through life." Are we able to OPEN and LIVE with this purity constantly shining through. Can I do it? Can you? Will we spontaneously combust?
What is this feeling I often have............tears of JOY falling......not sorrow. It feels like JOY and I do not understand why it is so strong at times. Sometimes I feel handicapped with it..........as if the Joy is so complete that I cannot function in this world. So I attempt to cap it, to push it down.............hold it close to the level of "constant-productiveness" that exists all around me. Other times I feel extreme Anxiety..............the polar opposite. Which one is my own feeling, and which belongs to the planet and her manifestations? Perhaps they belong to all of us.
IF I lived on a Mountain top.................surrounded by Nature.............could I open? Could I sustain JOY? Perhaps I could and would and WILL. Is not the True test being able to LIVE JOYFULLY in this world, IN the heart of "Civilization," and allow it to impact those around? Perhaps. Perhaps living Joyfully would not make the world Joyful for others nearby, but would actually cause some strife. If you look at all of the Masters that have existed in this world, almost every single one of them were caused great pain (and overcame it) because of the fear others felt about loosing their existing belief systems and/or way of life. About Change. Perhaps living on the Mountain Top with constant JOY as a companion would be best for all.
I am not a Master...........I am a Seeker.............and JOY is calling me............I wish to live there continuously and am about to do anything to reach and maintain that state.
It is really funny to ponder the fact that Humans feel they are the most evolved on this planet. Perhaps Intellectually...................yet, WHAT IS THAT--- in the bigger picture? Isn't Intellectual Evolution more about the Ego ---- rather than Spiritual Evolution?
Amen.
Thank you my kitty, for your Sparkle............and the many lessons you are gifting me with. Thank you for the GOODNESS, Love and Purity you are bringing into my world and my heart.
When I look at him, I see GOD. When I listen to him purrrrrrrrrr, or feel his little tongue on my skin, when he head-butts me, when he snuggles up with me on my pillow.........I feel that God-ness is filling me up. He is magical, pure, innocent, joyful, trusting, courageous even when he is frightened.............he is a living example of how all humans need to live. He is how I wish to be.
Joy, all in one simple leaping, pouncing, prancing, pooping, ball chasing precious little bundle.
I believe this simple JOY filled Spirit is apparent in all of us at some point in our lives..............where does it go, how is it shattered and shuttered. Does it have to be? Is our Spirit so pure and our heart so open when we come into this dimension that the pain living all around us causes us to close in stages............or slam shut all at once.
Perhaps. What is the key to "Opening," once again...........and living that way?
I believe we all call it Enlightenment. Few of us have achieved it, yet perhaps more than we know actually HAVE and LIVE it. They are the humble janitors, the Handicapped, the homeless, the Downs Syndrome kids, the dying and those being birthed; the simple people who walk among us. Perhaps they are alive and well in the indigenous peoples of the Amazon, or Australia, Thailand or America...................or perhaps these spirits live in the bodies of Whales roaming our precious Seas.
"The Journey through life." Are we able to OPEN and LIVE with this purity constantly shining through. Can I do it? Can you? Will we spontaneously combust?
What is this feeling I often have............tears of JOY falling......not sorrow. It feels like JOY and I do not understand why it is so strong at times. Sometimes I feel handicapped with it..........as if the Joy is so complete that I cannot function in this world. So I attempt to cap it, to push it down.............hold it close to the level of "constant-productiveness" that exists all around me. Other times I feel extreme Anxiety..............the polar opposite. Which one is my own feeling, and which belongs to the planet and her manifestations? Perhaps they belong to all of us.
IF I lived on a Mountain top.................surrounded by Nature.............could I open? Could I sustain JOY? Perhaps I could and would and WILL. Is not the True test being able to LIVE JOYFULLY in this world, IN the heart of "Civilization," and allow it to impact those around? Perhaps. Perhaps living Joyfully would not make the world Joyful for others nearby, but would actually cause some strife. If you look at all of the Masters that have existed in this world, almost every single one of them were caused great pain (and overcame it) because of the fear others felt about loosing their existing belief systems and/or way of life. About Change. Perhaps living on the Mountain Top with constant JOY as a companion would be best for all.
I am not a Master...........I am a Seeker.............and JOY is calling me............I wish to live there continuously and am about to do anything to reach and maintain that state.
It is really funny to ponder the fact that Humans feel they are the most evolved on this planet. Perhaps Intellectually...................yet, WHAT IS THAT--- in the bigger picture? Isn't Intellectual Evolution more about the Ego ---- rather than Spiritual Evolution?
Amen.
Thank you my kitty, for your Sparkle............and the many lessons you are gifting me with. Thank you for the GOODNESS, Love and Purity you are bringing into my world and my heart.
Monday, June 14, 2010
I journeyed forth "Sparkle hunting" at the San Diego Zoo. Warm sunshine bathed my body with golden warmth, and a light breeze danced the leaves in the trees and cooled my heels.
This zoo is a wonderland of winding trails and verdant, lush landscape. As I walked in wonder I noticed people from all over the planet exploring with tired whining kids, spending a fortune on food at the many hidden restaurants. The colors, the sounds, the smells the wonder of it all.
I realized how I have shut myself off from others, as I stood there among so many, I was so alone. Yes it was beautiful, with lots and lots of people. Yet there I was.............alone in the center of masses amounts of people. I spoke with a few, yet I was aware that I avoided eye contact. Why would I do that.................it was uncomfortable for me, that eye contact. I believe I am not normally like this, I screamed internally (so as not to frighten anyone.) (NO WOMAN IS AN ISLAND!)
What fork in the road did I take to I S O L A T E ?????
What purpose does it serve, that serves me?? Perhaps I do not want to feel invisible or feel rejected...........in some odd way. So I do not even give myself a chance for either.........or ........contact. How sad. How wonderful to have this insight.
My sparkle.............it came from this awareness. For awareness is the first opportunity for change............thank you. Change is GOOD, I can do change.
As I wandered I was reminded of the places I have been and the things I have done on this wondrous planet. The elephants! I have sat on the head and the backs of 3, in India and Cambodia. Lucky lady!
The giraffes...................How clearly I remember them in Africa, willowy and graceful............such beauty in their movements. The lion.................the attack while on safari. The Secretary bird, we saw her sister in Africa as well.
My sparkle came from linking my present to my past today. Also from my physical senses and their pleasure at being in such a magical place. My steak tonight was awesome and so..........it has been a good day lived............another gift, one less until I leave this incredible sparkling earth.
Joy............yes, it comes from inside of me, my own joy. Nothing outside can really GIVE it to me. It comes from my own realization and striving for growth. Sparkle, it is a magical thing..........and for me it lives in gratitude and growth.
Good night!
Wishing you Sparkling dream-come-true sleeping tonight.
This zoo is a wonderland of winding trails and verdant, lush landscape. As I walked in wonder I noticed people from all over the planet exploring with tired whining kids, spending a fortune on food at the many hidden restaurants. The colors, the sounds, the smells the wonder of it all.
I realized how I have shut myself off from others, as I stood there among so many, I was so alone. Yes it was beautiful, with lots and lots of people. Yet there I was.............alone in the center of masses amounts of people. I spoke with a few, yet I was aware that I avoided eye contact. Why would I do that.................it was uncomfortable for me, that eye contact. I believe I am not normally like this, I screamed internally (so as not to frighten anyone.) (NO WOMAN IS AN ISLAND!)
What fork in the road did I take to I S O L A T E ?????
What purpose does it serve, that serves me?? Perhaps I do not want to feel invisible or feel rejected...........in some odd way. So I do not even give myself a chance for either.........or ........contact. How sad. How wonderful to have this insight.
My sparkle.............it came from this awareness. For awareness is the first opportunity for change............thank you. Change is GOOD, I can do change.
As I wandered I was reminded of the places I have been and the things I have done on this wondrous planet. The elephants! I have sat on the head and the backs of 3, in India and Cambodia. Lucky lady!
The giraffes...................How clearly I remember them in Africa, willowy and graceful............such beauty in their movements. The lion.................the attack while on safari. The Secretary bird, we saw her sister in Africa as well.
My sparkle came from linking my present to my past today. Also from my physical senses and their pleasure at being in such a magical place. My steak tonight was awesome and so..........it has been a good day lived............another gift, one less until I leave this incredible sparkling earth.
Joy............yes, it comes from inside of me, my own joy. Nothing outside can really GIVE it to me. It comes from my own realization and striving for growth. Sparkle, it is a magical thing..........and for me it lives in gratitude and growth.
Good night!
Wishing you Sparkling dream-come-true sleeping tonight.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sparkle Hunting Begins Tomorrow
My purpose in beginning this blog is to explore - WHAT - exactly brings joy and Sparkle into my own life.
My age is 62. Four years ago (age 57) I made the fateful decision to learn to Rollerblade. All was well as I love speed and learning new things, and was progressing nicely. I have always craved adventure and figured this might add a new dimension to it.
This Skating adventure was not as I had planned, but rather a major diversion off my "perceived" life-plan. On May 3, 2006 I fell on my beloved Rollerblades, and bounced across cement, my helmet managed to stay on my head, my wrist guards left a black trail across the driveway and up over the bottom of the wall where I believe my head hit. Brain Lash. A whipping back and forth of the brain against the cranium walls. And in my case, Doctors believe there was a twisting and/or shearing within my brain.
Five days later I went to the doctor with major problems, was diagnosed with a small brain hemorrhage, a mild TBI (although one PHD I am working with in NeuroFeedback -monitoring brain waves- believes it was not mild.) I am told by some in the medical field that my brain is not cross-talking in areas where it should. I have difficulty still.....4 years later with sensory input. Translated that means, any rhythmic or chaotic sounds that continue for a short period will create a "fight or flight" response in me. The same with flashing lights, or the motion of a ceiling fan.......etc. It is also difficult for me to separate sounds from one another, such as have a conversation with background music.
I consider myself fortunate to walk and talk and drive a car...........and still I see minor improvements over time, but my ability to function in the world which is rife with audio stimulation (think turn signals and back up beeps, loud rhythmic music), motion and blinking lights (again, turn signals) is a major challenge.
Anywhere I go I am armed with ear plugs and GOD BLESS MY IPOD. YES!!
Oddly - I did journey last year to Egypt with two girlfriends. Egypt did not bother me much (except for the lack of bathrooms).............Bless them, their trucks do not have back up beeps......WHAT A RELIEF. I actually thought of moving to Egypt after returning home to the USA. I still think about it.
Sparkle and Adventure. That is what I intend to fill my life up with. Adventure can be a small or large affair, but it is a love-affair for me under all circumstances. What fills my soul? What brings me the greatest joy consistently over my life-time-lived?
Travel, NEWNESS, Learning, Photography, Painting (art) and my precious Son and loyal girlfriends.
What brings me pain? Back up Beeps and my family (Son not included.)
Enough with the pain.................I Intend on following the Joy, the Bliss and the New.
Instead of sitting in my nest, I shall venture forth.............and explore this world. I shall do something new and/or different each day..........and contribute to this beautiful world in some way. AND, of course, I will have with me at all times my limitless supply of earplugs and Ipod. Props.
I am holding myself accountable, and if ANY one else desires to share in this journey...........welcome to the path ............the path of healing, of love, of a joyful sharing. I might be a bit frayed, but I will NOT give up my thirst for the Sparkle I know is just waiting to fill me up!
God Speed us all...........on our way to loving ourselves, and in doing so, loving our Planet and all life she supports.
My age is 62. Four years ago (age 57) I made the fateful decision to learn to Rollerblade. All was well as I love speed and learning new things, and was progressing nicely. I have always craved adventure and figured this might add a new dimension to it.
This Skating adventure was not as I had planned, but rather a major diversion off my "perceived" life-plan. On May 3, 2006 I fell on my beloved Rollerblades, and bounced across cement, my helmet managed to stay on my head, my wrist guards left a black trail across the driveway and up over the bottom of the wall where I believe my head hit. Brain Lash. A whipping back and forth of the brain against the cranium walls. And in my case, Doctors believe there was a twisting and/or shearing within my brain.
Five days later I went to the doctor with major problems, was diagnosed with a small brain hemorrhage, a mild TBI (although one PHD I am working with in NeuroFeedback -monitoring brain waves- believes it was not mild.) I am told by some in the medical field that my brain is not cross-talking in areas where it should. I have difficulty still.....4 years later with sensory input. Translated that means, any rhythmic or chaotic sounds that continue for a short period will create a "fight or flight" response in me. The same with flashing lights, or the motion of a ceiling fan.......etc. It is also difficult for me to separate sounds from one another, such as have a conversation with background music.
I consider myself fortunate to walk and talk and drive a car...........and still I see minor improvements over time, but my ability to function in the world which is rife with audio stimulation (think turn signals and back up beeps, loud rhythmic music), motion and blinking lights (again, turn signals) is a major challenge.
Anywhere I go I am armed with ear plugs and GOD BLESS MY IPOD. YES!!
Oddly - I did journey last year to Egypt with two girlfriends. Egypt did not bother me much (except for the lack of bathrooms).............Bless them, their trucks do not have back up beeps......WHAT A RELIEF. I actually thought of moving to Egypt after returning home to the USA. I still think about it.
Sparkle and Adventure. That is what I intend to fill my life up with. Adventure can be a small or large affair, but it is a love-affair for me under all circumstances. What fills my soul? What brings me the greatest joy consistently over my life-time-lived?
Travel, NEWNESS, Learning, Photography, Painting (art) and my precious Son and loyal girlfriends.
What brings me pain? Back up Beeps and my family (Son not included.)
Enough with the pain.................I Intend on following the Joy, the Bliss and the New.
Instead of sitting in my nest, I shall venture forth.............and explore this world. I shall do something new and/or different each day..........and contribute to this beautiful world in some way. AND, of course, I will have with me at all times my limitless supply of earplugs and Ipod. Props.
I am holding myself accountable, and if ANY one else desires to share in this journey...........welcome to the path ............the path of healing, of love, of a joyful sharing. I might be a bit frayed, but I will NOT give up my thirst for the Sparkle I know is just waiting to fill me up!
God Speed us all...........on our way to loving ourselves, and in doing so, loving our Planet and all life she supports.
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